Facebook

Lifeline This Week

Sat Aug 15 @09:00 - 11:30AM
Downtown Mobile Medical Clinic
Sun Aug 16 @05:00 - 08:00AM
Koinos Church
Tue Aug 18 @05:00 - 07:00AM
Mobile Clinic
Sat Aug 22 @09:00 - 11:30AM
Downtown Mobile Medical Clinic

Grief

I talk to you sometimes, in my head.
These conversations are always
designed to make you laugh
the way I remember,
to see you look at me, smiling,
with the creases at the corners
of your eyes folded together tightly.

I sneak a look at your photo:
Somehow this feels like something
I should be ashamed of,
trying to re-memorize your hairline
and the subtle cleft of your chin.
Little details I cannot caress
with my hands - only my eyes.

No one hears my breath catch,
feels my pulse quicken,
sees my ears perk up
when I hear your name.
I soak up these little moments about you
like a sponge that will never be squeezed.
And when my heart is too full of
the pain of not having you,
I leak into my pillow
in the middle of my nights.

You will never know these things,
this grief over losing what I never had,
this grief over a soul dead to my longing.

You don't even see me.